The Holiday Creep

A lot of people, including myself, are really getting sick of the holiday creep.  Now, I’m not talking about the strange dude, who is always alone and never makes eye contact, that you see roaming the mall once a year in cut off jean shorts who seems to be stalking you  --  I’m talking about the start of the holiday shopping season that gets earlier and earlier each year.

Photo taken in September of a Holiday Display

I was shopping for a birthday present in early September, saw this holiday display, and was kind of horrified.  When I was a kid, I remember as fall would approach the Halloween merchandise would be displayed; Halloween would arrive and the Thanksgiving décor would make an appearance; and then Christmas displays would appear as Thanksgiving would draw closer.   Personally, I was fine with this progression because I absolutely loved unique feelings that each of those holidays brought. Now it seems that Halloween and Thanksgiving have been all but forgotten and Christmas is something I’ve grown to dread rather than anticipate.

I understand that the Christmas season is important for most retailers.  They have shareholders to please and payroll to meet. Plus it’s not difficult to see that some retailers are simply in trouble (J.C. Penny, Kmart/Sears, and Aeropostale come to mind right now).  But there has to be a more creative way to try to boost sales rather than extending the Christmas shopping season.

It seems to bet getting to the point that in my lifetime I will see one, year long, holiday shopping season. (Side thought: maybe that’s what Christmas Tree Shops was aiming for).  It’s easy to see how this could evolve too:

Holiday Back To School
One day the holiday season displays will be coupled with Back To School.  I could imagine the marketing campaigns surrounding that.   They’d probably simply bundle the two together and have notebooks and pens next to wrapping paper and bows.

Christmas in July
This idea is already in place, but it would take on a whole new meaning.  I suppose we could think of it as a half-Christmas. You know kind of like a half birthday, which (as a Catholic) seems somewhat fitting.  “Christmas in July. Get your half-Christmas stuff today!”

Holiday Easter
Easter is already a holiday, but I don’t think it has the broad shopping appeal as Christmas.  I think there’s only so many eggs that you can buy for someone before they’re used as rotten projectiles on Mischief Night (ya … think about eggs rotting for 6 months).  Maybe with the general worry about obesity something may happen, like the government stepping in and declaring one sugary candy or chocolate holiday every 6 months … one for Valentines day, one for Halloween. As a result, Easter would have to be re-purposed.  There’s such synergy here I could see that before long some marketer will simply tie it together to try to lift sales:  “He has just risen, but don’t wait, get your shopping done now before he’s born again!”

Holiday Valentines Day
Here, I could see simply tying love with the love for Christmas shopping. Christmas trees adorned with engagement rings.  After all, getting engage is special.  Getting engaged at Christmas time is even more special. So, just make Valentines day a little more special ... by adding a Christmas Tree.

The Yearlong Christmas
Finally, stores would just have yearlong Holiday time sales rationalizing, “if Q4 is our best quarter because of the holidays, then why don’t we just leave the holiday stuff displayed and just celebrate the holidays all year long. This way every quarter could be like Q4.” Of course someone at the other end of the conference table would be like “Beautiful! I love that idea! Run with it!” Stores would then just have a holiday department. It wouldn’t be called ‘seasonal’ anymore and there wouldn’t be any lawn and garden supplies stocked there in the off season … it would need to be called “The Holiday Department.”

I have nothing against the holidays (both religious and secular aspects). I also have no problems with merchants making money either.  Where I do have the problem is trying to over-exploit the emotional ties to the end of year holiday in order to do so.  If stores need to have a sale to move merchandise, then have a sale.  I just hope that eventually retailers stop trying to make it special by making the Holiday shopping season earlier and earlier.  I am more inclined to not shop somewhere if the Christmas time stuff is out before Halloween.   Personally, I don’t see it changing though I really  hope I am wrong.

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Corporate messages seem to pepper our communications.  If you’re sending an email, you may see “sent from my iPad” at the bottom; if you’re making a phone call, you might hear an AT&T chime; and there countless advertisements on Google, Skype, and Facebook.

It seems that the only part of the popular communication sphere that isn’t propagated by corporate messages is regular conversation. I’m not talking about interoffice conversation … that’s something completely different.  I’m talking about daily conversations.  

From what I hear, brand ambassadors do something similar, where they look like they’re casually hanging out at a bar  but they’re really pushing Bacardi or Stoli.  But that is someone hired to do that job and (for the most part) represent one brand.  

Perhaps a new advertising medium that could work for companies is pay per phrase (or, maybe call it paid viral speech) where everyday people, not under the direct employ of companies, use key phrases in regular conversation and get paid in the process.  The idea here is that words and phrases such as “proactive,” “synergy,” and “straw man” aren't typically used in daily life but rather corporate settings .... and people aren't being incentivized for using those 'company' words.

So, in a similar fashion, companies can create key catch phrases to be used in normal conversation to help promote their brand(s) and have it make as much sense as "synergy".  I’m not sure how it could be tracked. But perhaps when the under the skin tracking implants, like we saw in the Hunger Games, reach critical mass we may have a more effective way to measure successful campaigns.

I’ve given this a little thought and have tried to create a few phrases to start.  
 

• That’s so Apple.
• How Warner Brothers of you.
• Don’t make me go Olive Garden on your ass.
• Hummmmvveeeeee!!!!!!  (maybe used when in a roller coaster)
• Gatorade it up
• No Way Band -Aid
• Don't pull a Blackberry
• I'm so Starbucks today
• I need to get all Walgreens
• That worked like Quaker Oats

Admittedly, I don’t know what they all mean. But the rhythm of the phrases sounded appealing. So, draw your own conclusions and feel free to suggest some more.  If we can start injecting these into daily culture soon, we are on our way!

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Good, Better, Best – A Christmas Story

Loosely, building on an idea that I wrote last year, "Christmas – What is "Good?", I got to thinking of this Good, Better, Best hierarchy.

Ah ... Good, Better, Best: the clichéd adjectives used just about everywhere.  It seems, to me anyway, that good implies the status quo; potentially average or, worse, below average.  Better is higher in the pecking order so that’s like a silver medal to that of the bronze "good".  Finally, who wouldn’t want to be associated with Best.  Best just blows everything else away.  It’s the gold medal … and I think that’s why Apple never made a product anything less than the best (so they say).

When it comes down to getting presents from Santa one has to be good.  So I would imagine that as long as you don’t fall into the bad category you’re probably guaranteed a pair of socks and maybe a sweater.  But if you fall into the better or best categories … you may be cashing in.  Again, somehow that seems to be the case for Apple.

Let’s imagine that Nick isn’t a terrible person, but he’s a guy in his late 20s that doesn’t do the greatest things.  He’s still a child at heart and maybe (just maybe) still believes in Santa. So, let’s just imagine what that letter may look like:

Dear Santa, I know every year I ask you for presents, but my behavior seemed to have gotten worse over the past few years.  But I’ve done so much this past year to show that I deserve a Microsoft Surface with a blue touch cover keyboard. As you know, a couple of years ago I was not faithful to my wife and that probably led to not getting the iPad with the retina display that I really wanted. But this year, I’ve been better. I only cheated on her a total of 6 times with only 3 other women; compared to the 17 times and the 16 other women from the previous year.  That shows improvement! I have also been improving on my relations with the elderly.  I know I’ve been harsh to them, especially when they’ve been crossing the parking lot at Target and I blare on the horn and yell swear words at them.  While I’m still a ways from helping them cross the street, I’ve show a tremendous restraint and now only beep the horn at them. See, I’ve done better and certainly hope to have a Surface in my stocking on Christmas Morning. Very truly yours, Nick

While, Nick certainly isn’t a saint, he is doing better.  If we go by the Good, Better, Best hierarchy; then since he’s doing better than the previous year he falls into the second category thereby bypassing the good category.   I mean … he’s doing “better” … it’s not “best” but it certainly supersedes “good”.  Then again, if this is the “best” possible behavior he can deliver, then he certainly must be worthy of at least a Google Nexus 7.

I’ve pondered this fictitious scenario a few times and bounced it off of a few people.  Personally, I think the improvement warrants presents, but I may be alone in this one.

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The Grooming Mysteries: The Stone Wall and The Protective Cap

I’m at the Mohegan Sun Casino on a Saturday night waiting in the lobby.  I notice that someone has placed a protective cap from a deodorant stick on the ledge of a decorative stone wall.  Admittedly I don’t get out too often, but this seems a bit strange and arbitrary.  Am I wrong in thinking this?

Naturally, something this out of the ordinary got me thinking about the backstory.  Even though the scent would’ve pretty much been a dead giveaway as to a man or woman leaving it there, I didn’t smell it.  But I would imagine that a guy would have probably done this.  I imagine that it’s probably someone in their 20s.

They’re heading out to meet their buddies for a night out and hopefully meet up with a nice lady. Single would be nice, but that’s not a deal breaker for our hero.  As they’re driving, to the casino it dawns on them that they’ve left the house without putting deodorant on.  He’s probably running late, so it’s too late to turn around.  So, he stops at Rite Aid and picks up a stick of AXE for Men and a pack of Trident White Cool Rush.  He pays and the cashier asks him if wants a bag. But he opts against it, gives her few bucks, tells her to keep the thirty seven cents, and grabs his items from the counter and leaves.  He’s given away so much change on Friday or Saturday nights like this because he doesn’t want his Joe's Jeans Men's King Rocker Slim Fits to get too heavy or bulky – why else would he opt for the thin pack Trident, it lies better in the jeans.

Our hero arrives at Mohegan Sun at Pocono Downs and parks his car.  He’s even later now. So, even though it’s currently 37 degrees F and expected to drop to 28, he decides to leave his coat because it would take too long to check it.   He grabs his deodorant, gum, and iPhone 5 from the passenger seat and heads towards the building.   On the way he texts his buddy to say he’s there and then slides the pack of Trident into his right front pants pocket.    He reaches the building, pulls the door open, walks into the warm vestibule, and puts his iPhone in his back, right pocket.

Then, he opens the second door, walks into the lobby, pulls the first cap off his Axe for Men and heads to a stone wall off to the side so as to not rouse too much suspicion as to what he is doing.  He pops the protective cap off and places it on the ledge. Our hero then shoves the stick up his shirt, quickly applies, and walks towards the garbage can where he throws the stick away.  He then turns the corner, heads to Breakers (a bar), sees his buddies, gives them bro hugs, and the night begins.

I don’t know why a silly piece of plastic made me think of this, but it did.  There are a ton of other possibilities.  But this was my immediate thought.

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